Protect Your Child From Molesters

Your best defense: education and communication

Role playing with professionals helps children aswer honestly.

Child Advocacy Center of Lehigh County

The Child Advocacy Center of Lehigh County will foster professional collaboration and cooperation, community education and advocacy related to the neglect and physical, sexual and emotional abuse of children. To learn more about them, visit their website at www.caclc.org.

If you think child molesters wear trench coats and hang out in dark alleys, think again. Often, a molester is friendly, well- groomed and loves to talk. He or she might lead a children’s group or camp, and could be a trusted member of your community—or family.

“The fact is, there’s no cut-and-dried profile of what a molester looks like,” says detective sergeant Rick Mongilutz of the Allentown Police Department’s special victims unit, which investigates crimes involving sexual abuse of children. “They often appear to be friends, and their aim is to dupe both you as a parent and your child.”

Heart-wrenching stories of child molestation crop up regularly in the news. The situation is widespread, and the numbers are alarming. Fifty percent of all children are sexually abused in some way (either shown inappropriate sexual images, improperly touched or sexually assaulted) before age 18. Girls or boys can be victims. In 95 percent of all cases, the offender is someone the family knows.

Often, molesters were sexually abused in their own childhood, and they’re almost always repeat offenders. (A 1998 National Institute of Mental Health study found that the average offender molests 117 children.) Their victims suffer mental scars that don’t go away.

What can you do to protect your child?

Educate yourself
Though there is no blanket profile of a child molester, there are subtle signs many molesters show. Knowing them can help you stop an offender from taking action.

Molesters are typically charming people, says Kelly Waldron, senior chief deputy district attorney for Lehigh County. They use that charm as a way to manipulate victims.

“A molester seeks easy access to children,” she says. “He might be a babysitter, a sports coach or camp counselor. And he typically possesses things children like: video games, children’s movies, dolls or action figures.”

Though any child can be a target, children of single
mothers are especially vulnerable. “The molester will provide financial, emotional and physical support for the mother just so he can get close to her children,” Mongilutz says.

Teach your children

• Talk about it—“Adults who exploit children are a very small minority, and we don’t want children to fear all adults,” says John VanBrakle, M.D., chair of pediatrics at Lehigh Valley Hospital and Health Network. “But we do want them to be safe. Teach children to be on the lookout for the few adult ‘tricky people,’ just as they learn to watch out for other children who mean them harm. It’s vital to know what’s going on with your children and keep the lines of communication open.”
• Set boundaries—Teach your child nobody should touch him or her in any area that’s covered by a bathing suit.
• Teach the power of “no”—Tell him that if he’s in a situation where he feels uncomfortable or someone is touching him improperly, he should say no. If he senses danger, he should scream and run as fast as he can. “Since molesters spend so much time winning over a child, the last thing they want is to create a ruckus,” VanBrakle says.
• Engage in role playing—Molesters will lure young children by asking their help in finding a puppy, for example. Use role playing to teach your child not to follow, and that adults should ask other adults—not children—for such help.
• Keep tabs on your child—Don’t limit his activity unduly, but make sure he checks with you before going out. And get to know his friends.
• Limit your child’s Internet access—One in five children receives inappropriate sexual approaches on the Internet. Keep your family’s computer in a place where you can view it at all times and monitor your child’s on-line habits.

Want to Know More? For guidelines on how to talk to your child or teen about molesters, call 610-402-CARE.

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